Whisperer – By Fang (Chapter 7)
7
It was as if she never met them. As if she never existed to them.
Lillian and Stephanie sat at their own table now, while Lauren, Caleb, and their cousins all occupied their table, staying within their own bubble.
When Stephanie waved and called to them, they only looked over with indifferent expressions, returning to their previous conversation.
“What happened? Why don’t Caleb and Lauren and everyone talk to us anymore?” she asked as her and Lillian walked for their dorm to finish the day.
“I already told you; Caleb said it would be best if we weren’t friends,” Lillian replied with a lull in her voice.
“Well, I know, but why are Lauren and the others ignoring us? Caleb’s decision shouldn’t impact our relationship with them. Should it?”
“I don’t know.”
“Well, why don’t you ask Caleb and the others what the hell is going on—?”
“Stephanie! He’s made it very clear that he didn’t want anything coming between him and his family, including me. I’m sure the rest of them feel the same way! Let’s just respect their decisions and leave it at that. We got along fine before we met them, and we’ll be fine without them.”
“Are you sure that applies to you as well?” Stephanie inquired lowly, walking in their door Lillian unlocked.
It was too unbearable, watching him walk to his classes, not even knowing if she existed—pretending she didn’t exist.
All Lillian could do was watch him from afar as he walked so perfectly and effortlessly. She did want so badly to talk to him, thinking it wouldn’t do much harm. But remembering him ignoring her ever since their ‘break-up’, made it clearly obvious that not only did he just not want to be friends, but he wanted to act like they didn’t meet each other in the first place.
Lillian knew she was doing a terrible job at it. She wondered how he was managing.
In her Government class, Lillian was astounded that her teacher, Mr. Rudaman, didn’t even acknowledge her; the only instance he referred or spoke her name was during roll call.
When she handed in her chapter review, he only took it with an indifferent “Thank you”, when he always met her eyes and gave a pleasant, warm smile, usually speaking her name at the end of his thanks.
“My own freakin’ teacher is giving me the silent treatment? What the hell is going on? Why is everyone ignoring me?”
The only person that was aware of her existence was Stephanie; but Lillian wouldn’t be surprised if she, too, eventually paid no attention to her, with how mopey and depressed she has been over the whole ordeal with Caleb.
The week seemed unbearable. It was impossible to enjoy the new year.
Lillian’s landline phone rang, echoing in the silence of the dorm.
“Hello?”
“Hey, Lilly.”
Lillian’s eyes shut. If only Stephanie was in here to answer the phone… She could have ordered her to say that she wasn’t in at the moment.
“Hey, Dad.”
“Listen, I’ve got some good news; I didn’t want you hearing it from Amber, because I wanted to tell you myself.” The excitement in Arthur’s voice made Lillian raise a brow.
“Okay…”
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.”
“Yes, something is wrong. I know that tone. What happened?”
Lillian sighed. She didn’t want to have to do this. “Nothing, it’s just something with Caleb, that’s all.”
“Did he hurt you?” Arthur growled.
“No, no. He just said that…we shouldn’t be friends anymore, that’s all.”
“So he dumped you?”
“I guess you could say that,” Lillian groaned.
“Oh, Lilly, I’m sorry.”
Lillian wasn’t sure if Arthur’s condolence was genuine. It sounded real, but Lillian tried not to let herself get manipulated by things that sounded pleasant when really, they weren’t.
“What did you want to say?”
“Well, Lillian, do you want to talk about what happened—?”
“No, just say what you wanted to say.”
“Alright.” The elation returned in his voice. “Let me just say that you and Amber are both going to be big sisters.”
Lillian would have convinced herself she was falling to the ground if she didn’t have a firm clutch on her bed sheets.
“W-w-what?” she rasped.
“Terri’s pregnant!” Arthur affirmed joyously. “We just found out this morning.”
If she was really falling, Lillian hoped she would crack her skull open when she hit the floor. Her head spun.
“Lillian? Lil?”
“She’s…pregnant…?”
“Yeah!”
“With your baby?”
“Well, who else’s, silly?”
Lillian whimpered at the threatening tightening in her throat.
“Lillian? Honey, isn’t that great?”
Her luck only got worse, didn’t it?
“Not really,” Lillian answered him with a gasp.
“Excuse me?” Arthur’s tone was harsh now.
“No, it’s not really great Terri is pregnant with your baby, Dad. I don’t want a sibling from her womb!”
“Lillian, for Christ’s sake! When will you learn to think about people other than yourself?!”
“When my own father starts caring about me the way he used to!” Lillian screamed. “Ever since that witch came into the family, you’ve never respected me, or given me the undivided attention that I needed, since I never get any of it from Terri or Amber!”
“Lillian, they are a part of this family—”
“Because you welcomed them right on in, without any concern over what it would do to me, your ‘greatest happiness’. If I was your ‘greatest happiness’, then why the hell did you throw me aside like an old rag and put new ones on the rack?!”
“Lillian! You’re still my daughter–!”
“Sure, by blood, but you’ve done a poor job of keeping me close like a daughter! Why didn’t you just let me live with Grandma and Grandpa like I requested when you married Terri? Maybe then, we wouldn’t be going through this!”
Arthur hissed. “Fine! You want to live with your grandparents? By all means, go ahead! When this school year’s over, you go straight home to them! If you’re not going to appreciate and respect the way things are in my household, then I won’t stand for you to be in it, because I’ve been overly patient and flexible for you, and all you’ve done is throw my respect back in my face.”
“Gee, Dad, you make it sound as if you’ve made the bigger sacrifice,” Lillian sneered venomously. “Just because you love Terri, it doesn’t mean everyone else will and does!”
She slammed the phone against the receiver, allowing a sob erupt from the back of her throat.
“God,” she wailed.
Stephanie said the end of the world would be brought upon by mankind killing each other off. To Lillian, this was the end of the world just as well.
Her wicked stepmother was going to have her father’s baby. Lillian couldn’t love a child from that woman. She couldn’t. And it would boost Terri’s ego, that Arthur has more of a reason to love their new baby than her, for this child was Arthur’s blood, as well.
Desperately needing air, Lillian walked out of the dorm and outside the building, up the trails.
God, she could only imagine how ecstatic Amber is. Another victory for them.
The two of them have claimed her life. They claimed her father, her house… They made everything in her life about them.
Lillian should have known, all along, that this was a losing battle for her. From the day Arthur said ‘yes’ to Terri’s first date request, she lost.
Sure, now her father has a woman to be in his bed, so now he has someone to take care of him. But who is to take care of Lillian? Who does she have, if Arthur has picked someone else to love?
She didn’t care how far she was traveling off of campus grounds; she didn’t care she was far outside the boundaries, and that there were wild animals on the lose.
“If I get eaten, it’ll serve all of them right. Caleb and Dad… Lauren and the others… Obviously, I’m not important to either of them.”
Maybe being eaten by a carnivorous animal wouldn’t be too obvious of a deliberate fate. But what else was there? She wasn’t going to go back to the campus and look for a knife.
Lillian got the perfect idea when she heard the ripple and serene flowing of water. She followed the sound, and in ten minutes, she was standing before a stream. But it was too shallow.
“This should be the Saltzman creek…and it flows into the Willamette…”
The current should be stronger further down.
“I was all my father ever needed to be happy.” She remembered, all the days they spent together, all the ways they had fun.
“You’re all I’ll ever need, pumpkin,” was what he always used to say.
“Well, what happened?” Lillian hissed. “If it were any other woman… If he had married any other woman, I wouldn’t be doing this. I wouldn’t be feeling all this. I would be more than willing to share my father with a woman who was kind… Someone who would happily share him with me in return…”
She thought back to the picture she had of her mother—of her and Arthur. They looked so happy. They ran away from college together to start their life. If they were that in love, how could Arthur choose another?
“Didn’t Dad love Mom? I would think if he wanted someone like that in his life again, he would pick someone who would make him happy like she did.”
Perhaps…he didn’t. Perhaps he didn’t want another like Selene. Maybe he wanted someone completely different.
Lillian shook her head. She couldn’t understand. She couldn’t understand anything—any of it.
But the sudden denseness and stronger current of the creek eased her thoughts.
“Only a little further. It has to be deep enough to where I won’t be able to push myself up to the surface.”
She followed the flawless act of nature until she couldn’t see the bottom, even through the crystal clearness.
She lingered around the large rock’s edge. It was just a couple feet’s plunge.
Lillian looked ahead to where the river would lead her, and she found a railroad and dirt path. It looked hardly used, however. The aisles of trees on either side of the river ended a mile down, and she could see the roofs of residents, that looked like mere doll houses from where she stood.
“Hopefully this will drown me fast enough so that no one will be able to pull me out alive.”
If the powerful current didn’t, then the frigidness of the water should; it was thirty-some degrees outside; some leftover snow was still in patches along the ground.
“Dying of hyperthermia can’t be that bad of a death, can it? After all, you’re numb. Not being able to feel anything would be the perfect way to die.”
She hoped she was telling herself the truth as she set her feet half and half off the rock, ready to jump in.
“Sorry, Dad; sorry I couldn’t be enough. Sorry I couldn’t keep you happy. And Caleb…I don’t want to come between you and your family. I know what it’s like when someone does come between you and the person you love most. I would be a traitor if I did such a thing. You will always be one of the most amazing people I ever met.”
Lillian was so close to turning around, thinking that maybe she should leave a suicide note first. But no. Her plan would get spoiled, either by someone keeping her occupied, or she would get cold feet and chicken out.
Taking one last breath, praying her excellent swimmer’s abilities wouldn’t make this a painful process, she lunged herself off the rock’s surface and into the water, just the temperature alone shocking her to where she couldn’t hold her lungs.
The frigid ice that flooded her lungs stung her throat and chest painfully, but she strived to stay at peace with it. This meant it was working.
The current gained speed, carrying her weight effortlessly through the water.
When she was about to allow the final swift of water to overtake her lungs, a panic arose inside her. A panic that wasn’t hers. After all, how could it be? She was so determined and at peace with this fate; why would she be panicking now?
Despite the parasite emotion that didn’t belong, she allowed it to consume her, and she fought to keep her head above the surface, poorly doing so with how weak and numb she was already.
She was able to get her eyes above the water well enough to see a dark, large animal running along the shoreline after her. The water blurred her vision too badly; she couldn’t make out exactly what animal it was. It was large enough to be a bear, but its gate was too agile, and its shape was too slender.
Lillian tried to figure out the strange animal, until her head came in contact with a blunt, hard force, shaking her brain inside her skull. It kept her from flowing further down the current.
She could not stay awake; she was too dizzy, both from the impact and the overall shutting down of her body’s function. She witnessed the beast dive into the river, before the blackness took over her vision completely.
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